Kindle

 Do you ever think I need a Kindle to read the ebooks I have bought but haven't read yet? Normally you would read books on your phone but you're 10 months into a pandemic and have been quaranting pretty much the entire time and way back ten months ago you went for a bike ride and put your phone in your pocket and thought "this doesn't feel very secure but I wouldn't be angry if my phone fell, it's been through worse." And as you started biking out of the driveway your phone did indeed fall out of your pocket because your thigh immediately hit it and it just popped out. And you've dropped your phone a milliobn times but never really thought about a bike having more speed than just accidentally nudging the phone off your bed or something and you knew immediately it had cracked. And it did. But you were like "I will not overspend money, I should save more!" So you Scotch taped over the large cracks and that worked for a while until your thumb would get little tiny glass cuts. So you finally broke down and bought a screen protector to hold in the glass, which you had avoided doing because you knew you had an extra screen protector somewhere and just couldn't find it, but after weeks of re-taping your phone and bleeding you finally accepted to buy another screen protector since obviously you weren't going to find yours anytime soon. So you manage for a long time, ten months in fact using your broken phone, but acknowledge reading on your phone now mostly sucks. So you go onto Amazon and you see that a Kindle is $90 and you're annoyed because you think "I already own the books and now I have to pay more to read them? This is stupid." So you look on eBay, but the Postal Service has been so screwed lately and your husbands Christmas gift is like 40 days late and you can't trust eBay to even give you a quality product and now not even a product quickly. And the discount for the old version of Kindles is still like $40 before shipping and you see it's a sixth generation which means nothing to you, but you know they are on 7 now which surely that means the software has changed and you worry your eBooks won't work even though that doesn't make sense and now you're annoyed again. So you kick the can down the road a bit more but really are bored because again you are ten months into a quarantine and have several more months to go at least and it's winter and you're bored. So you start shopping around and see that Kindles range from $90 to $250 and you start comparing the different models and get really overwhelmed. And you see the fancier model is waterproof and you start imaging yourself reading in the tub and dropping your $90 Kindle and ruining it because it isn't waterproof and think "I should probably just get the $250 Kindle." But then you remember Jeff Bezos and his smarmy ass smile and you think "I WILL NOT BE TAKEN BY THIS STUPID BULLSHIT AND I WILL NOT BUY A KINDLE FUCK YOU BEZOS!" So you think I will just buy a new phone without a cracked screen because the cost to fix my old one isn't worth it. But then you see all the phone options and get overwhelmed again and find yourself back on YouTube comparing different Kindle models. Then your brain reminds you that you've gone ten months without reading an eBook, so it's unlikely you can't go a bath here or there without reading. And your brain kicks in again when you look that the fancier Kindle can only last 8 hours on a single charge and you're like "when was the last time you read for eight straight hours" and that tiny voice is like "lol you never did that, not even with Harry Potter." So you finally just buy the cheapest Kindle and just buy it and sit there waiting the three days for Amazon to ship it to you annoyed that you didn't just put your phone in the bike phone holder like your mind had told you to do ten months ago.