Soap
I had a very active imagination as a child. I fed imaginary rabbits in my bushes by tearing up leaves and throwing them into a little space between my house and the neighbors, I pretended my hair was alive and every time it was getting cut I would tell the ends to retreat to safety at the top of my head, and I day dreamed various scenarios that led to 12 year old me catching the eye of Brian Litrell of the Backstreet Boys and wowing him with my maturity and Roxy t-shirts.
This imagination has led a fair amount of strife as I have quite a few anxiety issues, I've been able to live in crippling fear of volcanos as a five year old (despite the nearest volcano to me being 48 million years old and very very dormant) it didn't matter. I could imagine the situation where it mattered. I imagined divorce scenarios and how I would deal with a spouse who strayed but also my wedding to Tom Hiddleston. We met at a bar and I pretended not to fan girl out.... And while my imagination is quite intense I never imagined the scenarios I would be in with most boyfriends. The mundane repetitive conversations we would have and the little frustrations. Yes I could imagine the cheating. But I never anticipated the soap.
When your boyfriend goes through years of eczema (and complaints about his eczema) only to realize the biggest issue was not washing his face. Meanwhile I'm sitting here dealing with hormonal breakouts for the 18th year in a row and my dermatologist legitimately knows me. We are on a first name basis. She asks about how my sisters and nephew are doing because that is how regularly we see each other. Botox and breakouts. But soap was the biggest hurdle between my boyfriend and a flawless complexion that would make Adonis blush.
But never in my imagination and all the in my head marriages did I expect to have to nag someone to buy and use soap. We have been packing for our little honeymoon and I said "you pack the face soap" in the hopes he would replace the empty bottle. Its been about a month since he had face soap. When I was last at his house I had to dash out of the shower dripping wet and paw at the bathroom drawers trying to find a bar of body soap. I dug around in a drawer between the dried out and opened hair wax canisters and strap Q-Tips flitting until I could finally find something that will help wash off. There is no shampoo or conditioner either so I used my teeth to pry open a pack of free shampoo and conditioner I had brought. When its time to wash my face there is only a nearly empty bottle of face soap I had left with him on my previous stay. I push the pump and a few bubbles loft out, but it is alas empty. I say replace the face soap.
But it doesn't happen. It doesn't happen for a month. So when packing for vacation I say do you have the face soap? No. He is just using a different bottle I left at his house. Can you imagine being so fortunate that you can just switch skin care products on a dime and your skin doesn't even care? The audacity of it all is nearly vulgar. The whimsy one must have to be so lucky. But also lucky for him is I squirrel away soap in all the places I nest as I travel so much. Car, luggage, houses, I have Pepto and soap in every corner I visit.
So it comes as no surprise to me when he calls yesterday driving home from work and says "you know how I smell bad? I found out if I don't really scrub when I shower I stink. Like by the end of the day I smell bad." Oh to be him. But it's at this point I say "I'll pack the face soap." You dream about the wedding, you imagine the flowers and the notes, you plan the kids names, but you never plan for so many conversations about soap.
This imagination has led a fair amount of strife as I have quite a few anxiety issues, I've been able to live in crippling fear of volcanos as a five year old (despite the nearest volcano to me being 48 million years old and very very dormant) it didn't matter. I could imagine the situation where it mattered. I imagined divorce scenarios and how I would deal with a spouse who strayed but also my wedding to Tom Hiddleston. We met at a bar and I pretended not to fan girl out.... And while my imagination is quite intense I never imagined the scenarios I would be in with most boyfriends. The mundane repetitive conversations we would have and the little frustrations. Yes I could imagine the cheating. But I never anticipated the soap.
When your boyfriend goes through years of eczema (and complaints about his eczema) only to realize the biggest issue was not washing his face. Meanwhile I'm sitting here dealing with hormonal breakouts for the 18th year in a row and my dermatologist legitimately knows me. We are on a first name basis. She asks about how my sisters and nephew are doing because that is how regularly we see each other. Botox and breakouts. But soap was the biggest hurdle between my boyfriend and a flawless complexion that would make Adonis blush.
But never in my imagination and all the in my head marriages did I expect to have to nag someone to buy and use soap. We have been packing for our little honeymoon and I said "you pack the face soap" in the hopes he would replace the empty bottle. Its been about a month since he had face soap. When I was last at his house I had to dash out of the shower dripping wet and paw at the bathroom drawers trying to find a bar of body soap. I dug around in a drawer between the dried out and opened hair wax canisters and strap Q-Tips flitting until I could finally find something that will help wash off. There is no shampoo or conditioner either so I used my teeth to pry open a pack of free shampoo and conditioner I had brought. When its time to wash my face there is only a nearly empty bottle of face soap I had left with him on my previous stay. I push the pump and a few bubbles loft out, but it is alas empty. I say replace the face soap.
But it doesn't happen. It doesn't happen for a month. So when packing for vacation I say do you have the face soap? No. He is just using a different bottle I left at his house. Can you imagine being so fortunate that you can just switch skin care products on a dime and your skin doesn't even care? The audacity of it all is nearly vulgar. The whimsy one must have to be so lucky. But also lucky for him is I squirrel away soap in all the places I nest as I travel so much. Car, luggage, houses, I have Pepto and soap in every corner I visit.
So it comes as no surprise to me when he calls yesterday driving home from work and says "you know how I smell bad? I found out if I don't really scrub when I shower I stink. Like by the end of the day I smell bad." Oh to be him. But it's at this point I say "I'll pack the face soap." You dream about the wedding, you imagine the flowers and the notes, you plan the kids names, but you never plan for so many conversations about soap.
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