Snooty. A California Reflection
I walked with Ky down The Burrows, a renovated industrial park that was now bespeckled with grey breweries in an upscale hippie California town. Occasionally the breweries would be separated by a shop or restaurant. We had come here with his mom, a suggestion for her birthday outing.
We first ate at a taco joint, it was unsurprisingly overpriced, each taco plate was $12 (so $6 per taco) and chips were not included. I find this particularly offensive. If you are going to adopt a culture at least do it justice. No self-respecting order at the door Mexican restaurant would charge that much for a taco sans chips and have the audacity to put it on a limp wheat shell. So with my stomach grumbling we walked along into a shop called Scout.
Scout, apparently an acronym for snooty c*nts overspending [those] unabashed twats, should have come with a trigger warning for all people on rumspringa. The bland colors, harsh fabric feel, and single matches out on display for sale surely would have sent them into a shock that their families were spying on them. "Oh my!" They would seize in panic looking at the shop girl, standing with her blonde hair braided up in a milkmaid hair halo standing watching them in her olive colored Sexless Sac (TM pending). But no. She was not their second cousin Anna-Mary sent to spy on them, she was just Gin waiting to assist you with your shopping needs.
In the shop you could buy a box of six matches, no price on the box, single candles, a multitude of drab colored linen sack outfits for the cost of a new car payment, or a white button up jumpsuit that looked like what a house painter may wear when sloshing paint across your siding. All items were displayed sparingly on old wooden tables or single hooks set against the white wall so you almost missed the outfit hanging up all together.
While the shop looked like the clothing equivalent of an Aldi without any identifiable claim to what exactly it was, most everything for sale in the shop hovered around $500 as opposed to the $15 you expect to pay for a burlap rice bag at Costco. Buy the rice and eat then pop the bag on for the same shapeless chic appeal of their outfits. Same material too! The shops key market, rich anorexics who lack prominent enough facial features to emulate an Angelina Jolie but still have the heroin chic vibe set by the Olsen Twins but too poor to shop at the Oslens Row store so they'll settle for Scout, stand in the corners of the store, shivering from their intentional anemia, and plot all the restaurants they can sit and stare at the menus in their new look.
The Sexless Sac (copyright pending) seemed to be main outfit. A dress so shapeless and dull Warren Jeffs wouldn't even take a second glance if a 13 year old gallivanted by in it. An adult woman was wearing this dress and I didn't see her male master anywhere demanding it, so I assume it was her choice. Fashion should appeal to the wearer and it doesn't need to gratify anyone else, but at a certain point you must accept a moo-moo is comfortable, but is it what you want to be seen wearing? And I say this as a person who wears basketball pants and hoodies on a near daily basis. I have a particular hoodie from Breckenridge I adore. It is baggy and cozy. My basketball pants are from Nike. In total I could fly to Denver Colorado, take the shuttle to Brekenridge, buy the hoodie, Uber to a Dicks Sporting goods and buy the Nike pants all for cheaper than buying one Sexless Sac dress.
It goes without saying I was not impressed with the store, and aside from us I only saw one person who may be actually shopping to buy and he was in jeans and a plain white t that I'm sure cost him a few hundred dollars. We mozied on to another shop that sold kitchen ware. Some were vintage resales, wine glasses with etched wheat stalks on it, that I know my mom happens to own as they were in my grandmas china cabinet. Much of the vintage glass was still very pricey and I know you could easily find it at most Goodwill stores in abundance. They also sold white plates for $39 a piece or chalky green bowls for $40 a pop. Many items were touted as handmade, but really lots of things are handmade, it's just not all the hands that make the things are well paid. All the same spending $1000 for a dining set for four seems excessive.
I won't say I mind the prices if people are being fairly compensated, and I don't really care if someone wants to live their life in a khaki colored personal tent, but I will say if you rent out a big space and buy some plain white pillow cases and burlap rice bags with holes and you spread it out far enough apart on various wood tables you can really charge whatever you want for it.
We first ate at a taco joint, it was unsurprisingly overpriced, each taco plate was $12 (so $6 per taco) and chips were not included. I find this particularly offensive. If you are going to adopt a culture at least do it justice. No self-respecting order at the door Mexican restaurant would charge that much for a taco sans chips and have the audacity to put it on a limp wheat shell. So with my stomach grumbling we walked along into a shop called Scout.
Scout, apparently an acronym for snooty c*nts overspending [those] unabashed twats, should have come with a trigger warning for all people on rumspringa. The bland colors, harsh fabric feel, and single matches out on display for sale surely would have sent them into a shock that their families were spying on them. "Oh my!" They would seize in panic looking at the shop girl, standing with her blonde hair braided up in a milkmaid hair halo standing watching them in her olive colored Sexless Sac (TM pending). But no. She was not their second cousin Anna-Mary sent to spy on them, she was just Gin waiting to assist you with your shopping needs.
In the shop you could buy a box of six matches, no price on the box, single candles, a multitude of drab colored linen sack outfits for the cost of a new car payment, or a white button up jumpsuit that looked like what a house painter may wear when sloshing paint across your siding. All items were displayed sparingly on old wooden tables or single hooks set against the white wall so you almost missed the outfit hanging up all together.
While the shop looked like the clothing equivalent of an Aldi without any identifiable claim to what exactly it was, most everything for sale in the shop hovered around $500 as opposed to the $15 you expect to pay for a burlap rice bag at Costco. Buy the rice and eat then pop the bag on for the same shapeless chic appeal of their outfits. Same material too! The shops key market, rich anorexics who lack prominent enough facial features to emulate an Angelina Jolie but still have the heroin chic vibe set by the Olsen Twins but too poor to shop at the Oslens Row store so they'll settle for Scout, stand in the corners of the store, shivering from their intentional anemia, and plot all the restaurants they can sit and stare at the menus in their new look.
The Sexless Sac (copyright pending) seemed to be main outfit. A dress so shapeless and dull Warren Jeffs wouldn't even take a second glance if a 13 year old gallivanted by in it. An adult woman was wearing this dress and I didn't see her male master anywhere demanding it, so I assume it was her choice. Fashion should appeal to the wearer and it doesn't need to gratify anyone else, but at a certain point you must accept a moo-moo is comfortable, but is it what you want to be seen wearing? And I say this as a person who wears basketball pants and hoodies on a near daily basis. I have a particular hoodie from Breckenridge I adore. It is baggy and cozy. My basketball pants are from Nike. In total I could fly to Denver Colorado, take the shuttle to Brekenridge, buy the hoodie, Uber to a Dicks Sporting goods and buy the Nike pants all for cheaper than buying one Sexless Sac dress.
It goes without saying I was not impressed with the store, and aside from us I only saw one person who may be actually shopping to buy and he was in jeans and a plain white t that I'm sure cost him a few hundred dollars. We mozied on to another shop that sold kitchen ware. Some were vintage resales, wine glasses with etched wheat stalks on it, that I know my mom happens to own as they were in my grandmas china cabinet. Much of the vintage glass was still very pricey and I know you could easily find it at most Goodwill stores in abundance. They also sold white plates for $39 a piece or chalky green bowls for $40 a pop. Many items were touted as handmade, but really lots of things are handmade, it's just not all the hands that make the things are well paid. All the same spending $1000 for a dining set for four seems excessive.
I won't say I mind the prices if people are being fairly compensated, and I don't really care if someone wants to live their life in a khaki colored personal tent, but I will say if you rent out a big space and buy some plain white pillow cases and burlap rice bags with holes and you spread it out far enough apart on various wood tables you can really charge whatever you want for it.
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| Why pay $50 for some white coveralls when you could quadruple it?! |
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| Get the Look for Less! Love this see through shirt that will disintegrate in the wash? Get the look now buy finding your most threadbare white pillow case and snipping three holes. Voila! |
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| The Sexless Sac. Have you left the cult recently but really miss the sense of community you had? Well before you go crawling back to your sister wives try this dress on. You may get that warm commune feeling you've been missing without giving up your autonomy. |
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| The tent dress. A North Face two person tent will set you back $150 but why have a ground tent when you could wear your tent! Available in white, egg shell, and privilege colors you can be ready to hunker down inside your gown all about the town! |
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