Dear Norway
Dear Norway,
I love how eco-friendly you guys are! I was amazed to learn you plan to be climate neutral by 2030! How does exporting 33.3 billion dollars of oil in 2018 play into that plan? Just wondering!
-T
Dear Norway,
I wish I had gotten to see a reindeer while I was there, but I understand they are shy. They are the last herd of 100% non-domesticated reindeer left in existence after all! Protect those dwindling majestic animals! Do you think they hide because they see all the piles of reindeer pelts you sell in every single store? Or maybe they've read a menu in Norway? Do you feel bad when you kill an all white reindeer then sell it's pelt for a mere $10 more than its brown counterparts? Just wondering!
-T
Dear Norway,
It's wonderful you are such a progressive country! Strange thing though. Why do your statues in Oslo look like sexual assault? Just wondering!
-T
Dear Norway,
I was driving and saw a picture that looked like an old school camera with a wifi signal followed shortly after by a tan box with a red laser. I googled it and saw it was a speed camera much to my chagrin. So I googled your fines. Nearly $100 for going 1.8 miles over. Well I'm fucked! Do you find it odd that if a cop pulls you over you are fined 10% of your annual salary and 18 days in jail? And if a robot catches you it can easily get into a fee of thousands of dollars for coasting down a hill? Meanwhile murder has a maximum sentence of 21 years? That's a bit strange. And on the speed thing do you ever feel like you're a police state with cameras everywhere fining you hundreds of dollars for the most minor speeding infractions? Just wondering!
-T
Dear Norway,
Coming back to the environment thing. You know over fishing can lead to a lot of problems even food shortages. I feel like every sandwich is just shrimp on a bun. If you're trying to be eco-friendly you really need to consider that. And while I'm still here thinking I really think that speed thing is crazy. Most of your roads are 80 kilometers per hour. That's 49.7 miles per hour. On highways! I mean if you're going to be that strict on it why not just give everyone in the country a Segway? It's about as fast. Then 40 in towns (24 mph) is literally slower than my parents neighborhood by 17 kilometers. Their neighborhood even has an elementary school in it. Going 17 kilometers over would literally be 18 days in jail and thousands of dollars in fees. I read you limit killing seals to 30,000-50,000 per year. Is that really a limit? That seems like a lot. It's just weird. Your limits for some things like speeding are insane, but out cranking oil, killing rare animals, and fishing without abandonment are all capped at insanely high levels. So you've got safe roads because of the restrictions. And your country is undoubtedly safer than the U.S. so well done. But would you ever consider the environment or animals a bit more? Just wondering!
-T
I love how eco-friendly you guys are! I was amazed to learn you plan to be climate neutral by 2030! How does exporting 33.3 billion dollars of oil in 2018 play into that plan? Just wondering!
-T
Dear Norway,
I wish I had gotten to see a reindeer while I was there, but I understand they are shy. They are the last herd of 100% non-domesticated reindeer left in existence after all! Protect those dwindling majestic animals! Do you think they hide because they see all the piles of reindeer pelts you sell in every single store? Or maybe they've read a menu in Norway? Do you feel bad when you kill an all white reindeer then sell it's pelt for a mere $10 more than its brown counterparts? Just wondering!
-T
Dear Norway,
It's wonderful you are such a progressive country! Strange thing though. Why do your statues in Oslo look like sexual assault? Just wondering!
-T
 |
| I mean this is clearly not a consensual fisting. |
 |
| Why is one grandma grabbing the crotch of another grandma? I mean she even looks ashamed. I am not trying to kink shame, but it's not the best look. |
Dear Norway,
I was driving and saw a picture that looked like an old school camera with a wifi signal followed shortly after by a tan box with a red laser. I googled it and saw it was a speed camera much to my chagrin. So I googled your fines. Nearly $100 for going 1.8 miles over. Well I'm fucked! Do you find it odd that if a cop pulls you over you are fined 10% of your annual salary and 18 days in jail? And if a robot catches you it can easily get into a fee of thousands of dollars for coasting down a hill? Meanwhile murder has a maximum sentence of 21 years? That's a bit strange. And on the speed thing do you ever feel like you're a police state with cameras everywhere fining you hundreds of dollars for the most minor speeding infractions? Just wondering!
-T
Dear Norway,
Coming back to the environment thing. You know over fishing can lead to a lot of problems even food shortages. I feel like every sandwich is just shrimp on a bun. If you're trying to be eco-friendly you really need to consider that. And while I'm still here thinking I really think that speed thing is crazy. Most of your roads are 80 kilometers per hour. That's 49.7 miles per hour. On highways! I mean if you're going to be that strict on it why not just give everyone in the country a Segway? It's about as fast. Then 40 in towns (24 mph) is literally slower than my parents neighborhood by 17 kilometers. Their neighborhood even has an elementary school in it. Going 17 kilometers over would literally be 18 days in jail and thousands of dollars in fees. I read you limit killing seals to 30,000-50,000 per year. Is that really a limit? That seems like a lot. It's just weird. Your limits for some things like speeding are insane, but out cranking oil, killing rare animals, and fishing without abandonment are all capped at insanely high levels. So you've got safe roads because of the restrictions. And your country is undoubtedly safer than the U.S. so well done. But would you ever consider the environment or animals a bit more? Just wondering!
-T
 |
| Ok ok. Sorry for earlier. I get the statues now. The man represents the government, the baby being stomped was speeding,the baby being thrown back represents the government rejecting the idea that maybe your perpetuation of oil is hindering your fight for being climate neutral (however that is defined) and the baby twins being butt punched represents the rare and precious animals being catapulted to their deaths and landing on plates in restaurants. |
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