White Whine

So you picked up the April 2021 was dairy free and no pills, it is more mature, but still very fine. Now if you go with the TT June 2021 you are getting a very nice fatty white. Notice the yellow color, that is rare and only happens immediately in the first few weeks of harvest then it's gone. Many people save that for a special occasion, like a sick day. Oh you are now looking at the October 2020. That one doesn't have any antibodies in it but it is a very fine blend indeed, we joke you can taste the nutmeg undertones from all those autumnal lattes! These are my thoughts as I go through the stock pile of breastmilk in the freezer. I am a white whine sommelier. The baby is crying, my tits are sagging and my sister was kind enough to donate milk to me as I haven't been producing as much as I should. With Odin-Son crying and sometimes not latching real well my milk supply left something to be desired. He is like an angry snapping turtle with pursed lips desparately grabbing at my nipple. Sometimes he grasps it and sips with satisfaction for 15 minutes, eyes shut enjoying the experience. Other times he grunts and I know I need to burp him. But when I burp him his head bops against my chest like a very dumb and frustrated woodpecker. No matter what he tries my collarbone is not producing milk. He then tends to lick and mouth his fist or my shoulder. Whichever is within bopping distance first. 

With a lack of milk we have turned to formula. I had never really considered formula, breastmilk is so hammered into you that it is best. But my boobs were out and wet 95% of the day in the first few weeks and my son was pissed. He was hungry and I was tapped out faster than a keg at St. Patricks day college party. We did start using formula and it has been immensely helpful in freeing up my day a bit to do things around the house. I was Googling what I could do to increase my supply and every result was something unpleasant. Already sleep deprived and sore it suggested I pump more often. My boobs were already exposed for a solid 20 hours of the day, I didn't know if I could do more. It also suggested eating more and being less active. It's covid and I have been inside on a sofa preparing my milk now for 20 months. I can't handle less active than this. The one time I drank a supplement my boobs got so big Ky called them anime tits. He was right and when I measured them I was 39 inches around the top and my rib cage was 30 inches. That would have made them around an E cup. All this to feed my little guy was leaving me with raging headaches and fevers. So with my sisters donation of milk to me I finally felt ahead of the curve and able to catch up. The headaches have lessened and the fevers have gone. Sure whenever I stand up from peeing and walk around a bit more pee drizzles out. And yes I have under eye discoloration for the first time ever. And I have a prominent line niagra down my stomach that is not fading. And yes I am having cramps already a mere 5 weeks post birth. And yes my shirt is wet when I wake up because I haven't nursed him enough in the night because my little angry turtle manages to choke on my milk let downs so my breasts are rock hard in the morning and my shirt and bed are soaked and I don't wake up from it because I am so tired and my dreams incorporate the wetness into them which is why I dreamt a cat peed on me as I was going to my graduation. But it is all worth it. He is the cutest little pucca shell even when he makes ridiculous grimacing faces with his double chin and looks like a bowling alley worker who huffs the antiseptic shoe spray. He is my perfect little nugget. And he is also breastfed and formula fed. And man it's a lot easier.