Christmas Everyday

I remember as a kid there was an Eric Von Detten tv movie that my cousins were extras in. Naturally I was intrigued. First you have Eric, a teen Disney heartthrob who looked like he was always just coming out of a swimming pool. Long limp wavy hair that looked a tad too oiled. Add to that a Christmas theme and I was in. 

The movie was the 1996 totally not hit Christmas Everyday that premiered on The Family Channel. The premise was a dark inriguing look into the human psyche which touched on such taboo subjects of race relations and the American currency. Just kidding. It was a kids movie about a little girl who wished it was Christmas Everyday. And of course no one in the family realized they were reliving the same day ala Groundhogs Day except the grumpy teen protaganist Eric V Detten aka Billy.  Imagine his chagrin having to spend the same day with his family for hundreds of days in a row. 

As we approach the Christmas season, I can't help but for the first time in a long time not feel the same decorative spirit. Normally I am traveling for work a majority of the year. Decemeber is my month home after months away. I get spirited in California by going to the Charles Dickins Fair in costume with my husband, or I shop at Chicago Christmas markets. Generally I am arriving home with luggage full of goodies ready to wrap, hoist, drape, and be jolly. But this year is different. 

It has been Christmas every dang day. We have had ample family time. My family are the only people I trust to have been quarantining adequately. I know none of us are going to excessive shops and we are all being diligent about mask wearing, Lysol spraying, and hand santizing . I have deliveries coming to the house just about everyday. Sometimes it's fun I guess. But not really. I sat here and couldn't actually think of anything fun I have ordered. I am over ordering! Let's be real, this year I have jumped on sales for Hemp hand sanitizer when it became available, and some KN95 masks. I have gotten deliveries of food prep gloves that my family now uses for getting gas. I have bought fabric masks in a nuetral color so they go with whatever sweat pant I am wearing that day. The presents have been coming practically daily from Amazon and I'm just not too excited about opening another box. 

Aside from the daily presents many stores and restuarants are closed and have been for quite some time just like they would be on Christmas. Chinese restuarants have remained open as expected, but it's not just for the Jews on the slowest day of the year. It's for everyone now. If a shop is open there's a good chance whatever you're going there to buy is either out of stock or only to be purchased in a limited quantity. No people aren't trying to get their hands on the last PS5 but rather a 24 pack of toilet paper and a HEPA filter. 

Getting dressed feels silly and unnecessary just like on Christmas. Normally I would love to go clothing shopping, but I'm pretty sure I have cycled through the same three t-shirts and two hoodies for the better part of six months. During the worst of my pregnancy nausea I didn't wear pants for a week. When a roofer came to our house to remove a satellite dish he walked right by my bedroom window. I of course wasn't dressed. It was 1pm on a Tuesday afternoon, who was I trying to impress. As he stood there getting the dish I just laid under my blanket real still with a perfect view outside my window with the blinds hiked up. It was the same position I would hold when I was younger and my sisters were showering and I wanted to scare them when they got back in the room. Once I hid behind a dresser for an hour waiting for my boyfriend to come back to his room. I scared him so bad he almost punched me. He reminded me he was in the military and tended to be a little jumpier. I learned a valuable lesson that day. Stand far enough away when you jump scare him so that he can't get you. But as I sit here in my third robe I realize I just can't be bothered to dress myself or a tree.

Eventually in the repetitive days movie tropes, the protaganist learns not to be a douche, and the daily resets stop. In the United States many people learned their lesson in March. They said "Ok, I'll wear a mask and socially distance" and if we could all do that then we wouldn't be in this pickle. But what we got was a Christmas Everyday situation with 350 million douchey protaganists. 50 million people are still saying the pandemic is a hoax put on by other countries to carefully orchestrate a Joe Biden presidency and the rest are saying eat a dick you morons. Our nations health has been under the careful advisement of a man who thinks you can zap out gayness. His theory must be opposites attract, in this case two poles want to touch so maybe an injection of electrons will make those poles want holes. More succinctly, our country is run by morons for the next 46 days so our Christmasy malaze. And I do know the real reason for the season and I hope it shines through. Be kind and respectful to your fellow person and swaddle your face in a mask like the baby Jesus, be generous and charitable because we have a lot more people in need, don't hang out in groups larger than three, don't overdo it with gifts, stand in fields alone and far away from people, and sometimes your government is trying to kill you so be aware.