Foozeball
I have written before about my love for sports, more particularly my lack there of. It is no secret that I think running around on a field chasing a ball is fine, but monetizing and idolizing it is when I have issues.
So last weekend my family decided to watch the two playoff football games. Thankfully this was the first I had seen of the 2018-2019 football season so approximately 8 hours of the game isn't the worst. Unfortunately my family manages not to extrapolate this same concept to my shows. One hour of Bravo's Below Deck causes dramatic sighs and an unnecessary analysis of what went wrong in my life that I enjoy watching glorified yachting wait staff in Tahiti bitch at each other. If I insisted the family watch 8 hours of Below Deck and they all agreed I don't know what I would feel. Probably happiness that I was finally understood and my personality is appreciated, but the point is it isn't going happen. My mom and sister are the biggest sports fans and during the game I genuinely felt my hearing was damaged based on their screams. I had actual ear pain and I listen to music in headphones at full blast for an hour daily at the gym where I have to click a disclaimer that "listening to high volumes for a prolonged period can damage ears." And yet my ears don't hurt after the gym, but they did after the football games. My dad echoed my sentiment that it is just a game, but aspects of it he does enjoy.
Maybe it is my need for more stimulation or a hatred of tension but many sports do not entertain me in the least. I have enough anxiety as it is I don't need to add more to my life in rooting for a team and having a pit in my stomach on every play or period or quarter or whatever metric the sport uses. I don't enjoy it. And the idolization of a team is s absurd I feel it deserves a dissertation not a blo post.
Football had perhaps a higher chance than other because I love men's thighs but then they go and cover themselves with pads and I'm left with only finding slight value in rugby where at least the men wear little booty shorts as they hoist each other in the air. While rugby wins for men's thighs honorable mentions for the men's thigh game include speed skaters (looking at you Sven Kramer) and swimming. If you think my thing for legs isn't real I will note I had a crush on a guy in college based on walking behind him and his fit hairless calves. I thought he shaved but it turns out he was just whasian and dating him began my six year stinct with half asian guys and their hairless legs.
So the games end and one team is pissed at a ref for a call that even the NFL thinks was wrong and people are pissed that the Patriots won and are going to the Superbowl again. This I don't understand. There is such an immense hatred for that team because people are annoyed they're good. This doesn't make any sense for two reasons. First all the loser teams have always rationalized that if they lost to a team, like the Patriots, who then go on to the "big game" at least they lost to a team that finished number 1/2 instead of 36th. They do this to feel warm and fuzzy that they aren't wasting a minimum of four hours per week watching a super shite team that they probably like simply because geographically it's the easiest. I have spent a lifetime liking men not geographically close to me so to those who follow teams because they're nearby y'all are pussies and need to challenge yourself to think outside the box and engage in a relationship with a team that you really like because of who that team is and inwardly be sad that they're never around. So by this standard people should like the Patriots because it can make them feel less bad about sucking.
Further more and my second point to why this doesn't make sense is because in America we have drilled it into us that you should be the best and an obsession with breaking records. To quote the Army we want you to be the best that you can be. Well the Patriots have some of the best players and if they don't have the best individually as a unit they certainly work together as among the best and for how consistently good they are they are breaking records. Two things Americans seemingly love yet for not knowing sports I remember people joyous when the Patriots near perfect season was smooshed in the Superbowl one year. We root for Michael Phelps to win gold every time, we rooted for Lance Armstrong to keep winning the Tour and when it was found out he cheated people seem to always mention that everyone in cycling cheated and for blood doping like the other top 60ish finishers he was the best doper. So if you're going to cheat be the best cheater you can be, be the Tiger Woods of cheating, go all out with your cheating affair. Don't just film the opponent, raise players to infiltrate other teams and lose.
After all the curfuffle over the game I have heard a variety of absurd statements. One from a Facebook friend from college. In his status he wrote he would be "taking a break from the NFL." What convenient timing as the NFL is actually taking a break too. It's called the end of the football season. Harry Connick Jr. the adorable crooner was so passionate about the bad football call he penned an open letter to the NFL commisioner saying it "sickens me to know people who are assigned to fairly officiate the game seemingly have no regard..." Thanks Harry for your NFL commentary, weird how a GAME sickens you but I haven't seen your open letter talking about your sickened by I don't know pick an issue: government workers not getting paid, sex offenders in government offices, racism, sexism, unequal pay, bad work conditions, mental health not being taken seriously, a lack of access to health care. Ok I'll stop. I'm sorry the game offends you. Thankfully the football players can cry into their money. Meanwhile there is a lawyer, probably an ambulance chaser seeking to sue the NFL for mental strife over the bad call. And to all this I just roll my eyes. So silly.
That being said I am suing Bravo for mental strife caused by Below Deck. It took too long to fire Chandler from the Bosun position and it made me really anxious seeing the unsafe boat conditions he allowed like pulling the anchor up incorrectly or not properly communicating to Captain when he parked the yacht. At least I'm learning something from my show, mainly how tacky rich people are.
So last weekend my family decided to watch the two playoff football games. Thankfully this was the first I had seen of the 2018-2019 football season so approximately 8 hours of the game isn't the worst. Unfortunately my family manages not to extrapolate this same concept to my shows. One hour of Bravo's Below Deck causes dramatic sighs and an unnecessary analysis of what went wrong in my life that I enjoy watching glorified yachting wait staff in Tahiti bitch at each other. If I insisted the family watch 8 hours of Below Deck and they all agreed I don't know what I would feel. Probably happiness that I was finally understood and my personality is appreciated, but the point is it isn't going happen. My mom and sister are the biggest sports fans and during the game I genuinely felt my hearing was damaged based on their screams. I had actual ear pain and I listen to music in headphones at full blast for an hour daily at the gym where I have to click a disclaimer that "listening to high volumes for a prolonged period can damage ears." And yet my ears don't hurt after the gym, but they did after the football games. My dad echoed my sentiment that it is just a game, but aspects of it he does enjoy.
Maybe it is my need for more stimulation or a hatred of tension but many sports do not entertain me in the least. I have enough anxiety as it is I don't need to add more to my life in rooting for a team and having a pit in my stomach on every play or period or quarter or whatever metric the sport uses. I don't enjoy it. And the idolization of a team is s absurd I feel it deserves a dissertation not a blo post.
Football had perhaps a higher chance than other because I love men's thighs but then they go and cover themselves with pads and I'm left with only finding slight value in rugby where at least the men wear little booty shorts as they hoist each other in the air. While rugby wins for men's thighs honorable mentions for the men's thigh game include speed skaters (looking at you Sven Kramer) and swimming. If you think my thing for legs isn't real I will note I had a crush on a guy in college based on walking behind him and his fit hairless calves. I thought he shaved but it turns out he was just whasian and dating him began my six year stinct with half asian guys and their hairless legs.
So the games end and one team is pissed at a ref for a call that even the NFL thinks was wrong and people are pissed that the Patriots won and are going to the Superbowl again. This I don't understand. There is such an immense hatred for that team because people are annoyed they're good. This doesn't make any sense for two reasons. First all the loser teams have always rationalized that if they lost to a team, like the Patriots, who then go on to the "big game" at least they lost to a team that finished number 1/2 instead of 36th. They do this to feel warm and fuzzy that they aren't wasting a minimum of four hours per week watching a super shite team that they probably like simply because geographically it's the easiest. I have spent a lifetime liking men not geographically close to me so to those who follow teams because they're nearby y'all are pussies and need to challenge yourself to think outside the box and engage in a relationship with a team that you really like because of who that team is and inwardly be sad that they're never around. So by this standard people should like the Patriots because it can make them feel less bad about sucking.
Further more and my second point to why this doesn't make sense is because in America we have drilled it into us that you should be the best and an obsession with breaking records. To quote the Army we want you to be the best that you can be. Well the Patriots have some of the best players and if they don't have the best individually as a unit they certainly work together as among the best and for how consistently good they are they are breaking records. Two things Americans seemingly love yet for not knowing sports I remember people joyous when the Patriots near perfect season was smooshed in the Superbowl one year. We root for Michael Phelps to win gold every time, we rooted for Lance Armstrong to keep winning the Tour and when it was found out he cheated people seem to always mention that everyone in cycling cheated and for blood doping like the other top 60ish finishers he was the best doper. So if you're going to cheat be the best cheater you can be, be the Tiger Woods of cheating, go all out with your cheating affair. Don't just film the opponent, raise players to infiltrate other teams and lose.
After all the curfuffle over the game I have heard a variety of absurd statements. One from a Facebook friend from college. In his status he wrote he would be "taking a break from the NFL." What convenient timing as the NFL is actually taking a break too. It's called the end of the football season. Harry Connick Jr. the adorable crooner was so passionate about the bad football call he penned an open letter to the NFL commisioner saying it "sickens me to know people who are assigned to fairly officiate the game seemingly have no regard..." Thanks Harry for your NFL commentary, weird how a GAME sickens you but I haven't seen your open letter talking about your sickened by I don't know pick an issue: government workers not getting paid, sex offenders in government offices, racism, sexism, unequal pay, bad work conditions, mental health not being taken seriously, a lack of access to health care. Ok I'll stop. I'm sorry the game offends you. Thankfully the football players can cry into their money. Meanwhile there is a lawyer, probably an ambulance chaser seeking to sue the NFL for mental strife over the bad call. And to all this I just roll my eyes. So silly.
That being said I am suing Bravo for mental strife caused by Below Deck. It took too long to fire Chandler from the Bosun position and it made me really anxious seeing the unsafe boat conditions he allowed like pulling the anchor up incorrectly or not properly communicating to Captain when he parked the yacht. At least I'm learning something from my show, mainly how tacky rich people are.
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